{"id":2034,"date":"2013-03-04T14:54:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-04T14:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/danislettertomum.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/16\/cardiff-4th-march-2013"},"modified":"2023-06-18T09:47:16","modified_gmt":"2023-06-18T09:47:16","slug":"cardiff-4th-march-2013","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.acasanapraia.com\/en\/cardiff-4th-march-2013\/","title":{"rendered":"Cardiff, 4th March 2013."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>B\u00ean\u00e7a, m\u00e3e! You ok?<\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 13.5pt;\">Ha ha. What a stupid question!\u00a0<i>Of course\u00a0<\/i>you are well! How could it be any different? You\u2019re in Heaven (yes, I believe that!) and now Maggie is with you, right?<\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 13.5pt;\">Mother, when Isa told me about Maggie on Saturday, she was crying. She had just had a phone call from dad. She said: \u2018It\u2019s going to have to be me again, telling the news\u2026 To you and now to Xu.\u2019<\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 13.5pt;\">I felt sorry for her, for her to have to be again the messenger for the bad news, but I guess God always picks the messengers according to their strength, Mother. But then, you\u2019ve always seemed to be the strongest one, Mother. Why did you have to go so soon? I keep wondering \u2013 in my \u2018spiritual naughtiness\u2019 \u2013 whether something really bad is going to happen and that God\u2019s taken you to spare you of the\u00a0 pain\u2026<\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 13.5pt;\">I hope it doesn\u2019t follow a pattern: dad finds out, then he tells Isa, who has to tell Xu and me.<\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 13.5pt;\">Mother, dad and Isa just\u00a0<i>look<\/i>\u00a0stronger. I don\u2019t know if you can really see from where you are, but dad hasn\u2019t been well. And Isa is barely \u2018hanging\u2019\u2026 And Xu\u2026 Mother, please be always with her. You may even stay with her longer, really. She\u2019s going to be alone again soon, and I\u2019m afraid she\u2019s going to get depressed again. She still needed you so much, I think!<\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 13.5pt;\">Mother, I\u2019m still very angry. I\u2019m sad too. I can\u2019t stop thinking of you, of the idea of\u00a0<i>\u2018not you ever again<\/i>\u2019\u2026 It\u2019s hurting so bad. A physical pain even. I feel my heart aching for real, Mother. I can actually\u00a0<i>feel<\/i>\u00a0my \u2018broken heart\u2019\u2026 And I\u2019m so angry! I feel like shouting, like a child throwing a tantrum. Why? How? Please, God, how? Why? I want my mother back! Now! Please, God! Please! Give me my mother back!<\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 13.5pt;\">It\u2019s a very selfish feeling, Mother, I know. But that\u2019s how I\u2019m feeling now. It hasn\u2019t even been three weeks yet, but I wish it had never been!<\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 13.5pt;\">We\u2019re going to Amsterdam on Wednesday. I havent\u2019 had to heart to tell dad or the girls yet. We\u2019d booked it before everything happened. I\u2019m going to visit the Chapel of the Lady of All Nations, as I do every time I go there, and will ask them if I can offer this Saturday\u2019s mass in intention of you, for one month, I mean, because I won\u2019t be able to go to church on the 13<sup>th<\/sup>. I\u2019ll be in work and they don\u2019t have a later mass during the week, I guess.<\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 13.5pt;\">Mother, some words just don\u2019t seem to be right when put together with your name, or the word \u2018Mother\u2019. I carry you death certificate in my bag (your bag) with me. The word \u2018death\u2019 right above your name in the document just looks like a terrible practical joke!<\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 13.5pt;\">No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.<\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 13.5pt;\">I wonder if I write it one million times, when I finish it everything will be back to normal. Of course it won\u2019t. I\u2019m just being ridiculous.<\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 13.5pt;\">Mother, I love you so much. I can\u2019t believe I will never see you, hold your hand, hug you, argue with you ever again!<\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 13.5pt;\">Mother, why?<\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 13.5pt;\">Why?\u00a0L<\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 13.5pt;\">I love you, Mother.<\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 13.5pt;\">P.S. Mother, I\u2019m very worried about dad. You and Maggie died practically \u2018under his care\u2019. I can only imagine what kind of guilty thoughts are in his mind and heart\u2026 Please, ask Jesus to heal his heart and free him from any guilt he may be feeling, please. Thanks.<\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 13.5pt;\">I love you forever.<\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 13.5pt;\">Your oldest daughter,<\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 13.5pt;\">Dani xxx<\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"margin: 0; text-align: center;\" align=\"center\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\"><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>B\u00ean\u00e7a, m\u00e3e! You ok? Ha ha. What a stupid question!\u00a0Of course\u00a0you are well! How could it be any different? You\u2019re in Heaven (yes, I believe that!) and now Maggie is with you, right? Mother, when Isa told me about Maggie on Saturday, she was crying. She had just had a phone call from dad. She&hellip;<\/p>","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[221],"tags":[367],"class_list":["post-2034","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-letters-to-my-mother","tag-letters-to-my-mother","entry"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Cardiff, 4th March 2013. - A Casa na Praia<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.acasanapraia.com\/en\/cardiff-4th-march-2013\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Cardiff, 4th March 2013. - A Casa na Praia\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"B\u00ean\u00e7a, m\u00e3e! 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